I’m breathing in and out. I’m shivering. I feel cold. So so cold. And empty. I feel tired. But restless. My chest and heart are aching. It feels like some kind of invisible being is trying to forcibly rip my soul out of me. Like someone - something is putting its hands on my throat, trying to suffocate me.
People throw the word ‘love’ around as if it has no meaning, we’ll tell absolute strangers we love them for no apparent reason. But the second someone says ‘I hate you’ it’s like the end of the world, they say ‘hate is such a strong word’.. Yeah, but in my opinion, love is a lot more powerful than hate. Even though hate can be destructive and hurtful, so can love, and love can do a lot more damage to you than hate can.
Why do I miss you so much? :( why do I still love you even though you broke my heart. Why do I still think about you everyday when I know for sure you don’t think about me anymore. I regret every single day of life not telling you that I liked and loved you…. I regret not telling you how I really felt… And now it’s too late to tell you those things because you’re not here anymore…. Juan I miss you… I wish you where still here.
Crying because I can’t take this anymore…
As soon as I think things are getting better and everything is going to be okay again. My depression and the lonely, unwanted feelings start to come back. It always comes back at the worst times. I could be happy one second and extremely sad the next… you know it sucks that I’m constantly fighting a battle with my depression, it’s a nonstop battle that I deal with every single day. Everyday I haft to fake a smile and act like I’m okay when I’m not. There might be some days where I truly am happy, but those days don’t last very long. I can barely make it a whole day without feeling depressed or alone or even unwanted. Truly nobody know how broken and unhappy I am. Nobody can see the sad and loneliness in my eyes. I can see it but nobody else can…
My happiness is slowly fading away…
I have this weird feeling like something bad is about to happen…
i just want a long text message, that’s all. i want someone, anyone, to text me and tell me how much i mean to them, and how much the appreciate me. i want someone to tell me they love me, tell me they’re glad i’m in their life. i want someone to make an effort to make me feel important. i want someone to tell me they’re happy i exist without expecting anything in return.
just, this. yes.
No I’m sorry… I kinda feel unfortable taking a picture of them just because there’s so many of them now… way more than there are in that picture… maybe next time, sorry.
